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BACKWARD & SIDEWAYS?
While some kilts may be slightly
different
in design, most all men's kilts
close near
the right hip. This means the
"apron"
(which is usually flat and un-pleated)
is
centered in the front. On occasion,
you may
see guys (that don't know any
better) wearing
their kilt sideways (with the
right hip closure
in the center and the apron across
their
left hip) or completely backwards,
like the
clueless chaps pictured above and the retard on the
left here. If you see someone
wearing their
kilt incorrectly, kindly take
them aside
(as you would someone with his
zipper down)
and point out the apron and that
it should
be centered in the front. If
they get defensive
and want to argue, just let them
go on looking
like an idiot. |
Don't put off for tomorrow what you can do
today, because if you enjoy it today,
you can do it again
tomorrow.
~James A. Michener, Novelist, World Traveler
& Renowned Humanist (1907-1997)
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BASTING STITCHES
Basting stitches are a loose
zig-zag stitch
that high-end kilt makers use
on quality
kilts before shipping to ensure
the pleats
lay flat. These rows of thread(s)
should
be carefully removed once you
ensure your
new kilt fits properly. If you
see someone
wearing a kilt with the basting
stitches
affixed, discreetly let them
know that those
are for shipping and should be
removed to
allow the kilt to swing freely.
I know this
seems obvious, but unless you
want to look
like a total buffoon, you don't
want to be
the guy wearing a new kilt with
the basting
stitches.
A black watch tartan kilt with military style
pleats (pleated to stripe), with white basting
stitches affixed, pictured right.
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LEARNING TO SIT AGAIN.. PRACTICE, PRACTICE,
PRACTICE
Sitting down in a kilt can be a bit of a
challenge, particularly if it is something
you are not used to. The best advice is to
practice this in private before you try it
in public. Rest assured, as much as it will
feel awkward at first, it will come to feel
natural and will become second nature. Similarly,
getting into and out of your car will also
feel awkward until you have done it a few
times. Getting comfortable in moving, sitting
and getting up from a seated position will
help boost your confidence and keep you from
looking ill at ease on your first kilted
outing.
AN EASY RECIPE FOR SEATED SUCCESS
There are basically two actions
that I suggest
you employ when sitting in a
kilt. These
are actions that women have mastered
and
as soon as you try it, you will
realize why.
The first thing you want to try
to do is
"tilt" or "thrust"
your
hips forward slightly in one
smooth motion
and swing the pleats forward,
just as you
sit. This action takes a bit
of practice
and requires good timing. The
idea is that
the kilt should be swinging toward
the back
of your legs as you sit. The
second thing
you want to is sweep your hand
from the apex
of your buttocks toward the back
of your
knees in one smooth motion, smoothing
your
pleats as you sit. Both of these
actions
combined, can be done quickly,
easily and
without drawing attention. The
end result
will have you sitting on your
smoothed out
pleats and will be more comfortable
and cause
less wrinkling to the back of
your kilt. |
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Ooops!Once you are seated, the front apron of your
kilt should fall down between you legs as
you spread them, particularly if you are
wearing a sporran. If not, nonchalantly place
you hand in your lap to weight down the apron
enough to close the gap. Unless you want
to turn out like the chap sitting on the
Queen's right hand side. |
AVOIDING STAND-UP COMEDY
When you stand up, you should also sweep
the back of your kilt, to ensure the pleats
are laying flat. This may save you some unnecessary
embarrassment and snickers from any observant
bystanders.
NO NEED TO BE LADY-LIKE
When seated, you do not need
to cross your
legs or "sit like a lady."
Simply
ensure your apron has dropped
down to cover
your "package" properly.
If you
are wearing a sporran, this is
almost automatic,
because of the weight of the
sporran and
it's strategic placement. Similarly,
when
standing, you can casually place
a foot up
on a bench, stool or curb.. something
ladies
don't often do in a skirt or
dress. So long
as your kilt is draping properly,
you really
have nothing to worry about. |
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"If you stand up and be
counted, from
time to
time you may get yourself knocked down.
But
remember this: A man flattened by an
opponent
can get up again. A man flattened
by conformity
stays down for good."
~ Thomas J. Watson, Jr. (1914-1993)
US Army B-24 Pilot (WW II), CEO of IBM 1956-1971,
US Ambasador to the USSR 1979-1981.
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THE RIGHT KILT FOR THE JOB
If you are dressing up for a formal occasion,
a tartan plaid or solid, dark colored, kilt
would likely be appropriate. You would also
want to consider formal kilt hose, garters
with flashes and even a Prince Charlie or
Eisenhower cut jacket. I have seen waiter-type
tux jackets complement a traditional kilt
nicely for formal wear. If you can pick up
a waiter-cut tux jacket in your size at a
good price, grab it. It may come in handy
in the future. Heavyweight wool tartan kilts
have their place, such as a wedding, graduation
or other formal event. |
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On the other hand, if you are going for a
decidedly casual look in a Hawaiian shirt,
tee shirt or tank top, likely a casual khaki
twill or denim kilt might look more fitting.
I don't know many guys that want to go out
drinking in a $500 formal woolen kilt, in
which case, an inexpensive, washable, acrylic,
casual tartan or cotton/blended fabric twill
kilt would probably be preferred. What you
choose to wear is up to you.
As for footwear, many of the other twill and corduroy kilts
look fine with about anything from Teva sandals
to combat boots!I have found Doc Marten's, Rock Boots and GBX-type shoes
and boots seem to complement the many of
the contemporary kilts on the market. Of course, the Utilikilt Spartan cries out
for sneakers and a tank top! |
Courtesy of Hamish the
Kilted Legend [WEBSITE] |
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| Remember, it's all about freedom, wear what
you like! |
A BIT ABOUT KILT PINS
A kilt pin, often a brooch or sword-shaped
pin with some sort of crest on it, is often
worn near the leading edge of the outer apron.
If you pin it through both aprons, it may
tear the fabric, so it is best to put it
through the outer apron only. The kilt pin
is an optional ornament that helps to weight
down the "fly-away" edge of the
apron. Although kilt pins are most often
seen with formal attire, they may be worn
by anyone, in any kilt, just like hose flashes
and Sgian Dubh (a knife or dagger that is
often worn inside the top of the hose/stocking).
A USMC kilt pin from Pipers
Cove, pictured
right.
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ARE YOU IN THE REGIMENT?
"Regimental" is the kilted equivalent
to going "commando" in trousers.
Some call it "freeballing" and
others call it "traditional style."
It is a decision you must make for yourself.
Some say, "A man without underwear,
wears a kilt. A man with underwear, wears
a skirt." Again, it is a personal choice
and there must be a few considerations: what
is the likelihood of a fly-up? Who is your
audience and how will they react to a mishap?
What are the worst-case consequences of having
a fly-up with that audience? Most kilted
guys that work around small children or do
kilted dancing performances choose to wear
some type of undergarment, be it loose-fitting
boxers or tight-fitting black spandex briefs.
What you ultimately decide to do is your
business.
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Put the kilt down Billy Idol!
One last little tip... if you are going to wear something under your kilt..
at least be so kind as to keep
the "mystique"
going by not "flashing" everyone your friggin'
pink boxers. Looking specifically at the
idiot on the far left... Well, It was Bourbon
Street after all! But, the guy on the right
obviously has it all together! Nice Utilikilt
dude (notice he has the better
chick too)!
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